"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous" --Ingrid Bergman

In honor of the upcoming holiday (Singles Awareness Day...har har har), an homage to one of the most written about signs of affection--the kiss.

The Top 5 Best Kinds of Kisses (or at the very least, my own top 5)

5. The First Kiss- No matter what the circumstance, any girl today could tell you the who, what, when, and where of her first kiss. Heart pounding, throat tightening, butterflies in the stomach; all of these feelings can be summed up in the final moments before the first time your lips touch with someone new. Maybe it's excitement, maybe it's hormones, but whatever the case, The First Kiss remains rooted in the top 5.
4. The Nose Kiss- There are probably hundreds, no, thousands of places on a girl's body to kiss that ignite a veritable fireworks display of giddiness, but for me, it's the tip of my nose. Just a simple little peck and boom, I'm a goner. There's probably no quicker way to make me smile, unless you crack a Helen Keller joke.
3. The Intimate Kiss- There's something to be said for the kinds of long, drawn out kisses that fall under the Intimate Kiss category. Boyfriend or not, these are the kinds of makeout sessions that become burned into our memories, and ususally signify the start of something new.
2. The Surprise Kiss- This is a simple combination of two things most girls love--kissing and surprises. What woman doesn't want to be kissed Gone With The Wind style by a dashing Southern gentleman? If she's saying no, it probably means yes, yes, oh yes. Unless she says it several times and attempts to push you off of her. Then you should listen lest you wind up in jail.
1. The Reunion Kiss- Boys. Rent "The Notebook." Follow these simple instructions to execute the perfect Reunion Kiss.
One- Spot girl from across a sizeable amount of distance i.e. large grassy field, airport arrival gate, etc.
Two- Run/jog 20% to her 80%, as she has shorter legs and will take longer to reach you.
Three- Bend knees slightly and open your arms. Ready your body for impact.
Four- Wrap your arms around her and lift.
Five- Commence awesomely public makeout session of joy.

You can thank me later for these tips.