There comes a time in every girl's life where she wakes up one day and realizes something is missing. "What could it be?" you might ask. Is it a new car? Is it a sparkly diamond? Is it a sweet piece of man candy by the name of Brad? No, my friends, the answer is oh so much greater than Brad--it is the onesie. Known to some as "footie pajamas," this classic sleepwear look was worn predominantly in our childhood, to the delight or disgust of others. They have graced sleepovers and Christmas cards alike, making a bold fashion statement to anyone daring to be seen with a child forced into a onesie by their parents. As the years passed and our sleep attire has become more and more scandelous with age, it's time we take back our youth with this fleecy delight.
As the onesie market is severely limited to children under the age of 14, size and color selection are imperative in executing this classy throwback to our yesteryears. Whilst perusing the children's clothing section at my local Target, I was shocked to find an overabundance of designs in the little boy's aisle. Dinosaurs, rocketships, racecars...essentially the trifecta of cool in terms of prepubescent men.
While the choice was not easy, I settled on a black design adorned with glow in the dark skulls for several reasons--
1. Skulls are badass. Naturally my goal is to look as cool as humanly possible in a onesie.
2. Guys dig chicks who glow in the dark. And naturally, my other goal is purchasing a onesie is to pick up guys.
3. It unzips down to my foot. This opens the door for endless amounts of inappropriate fun.
4. I can listen to Avril Lavigne and Sum 41 while wearing it and feel even MORE punk rock than I already am.
So friends, if you're wondering what exactly it will take to fill that gigantic hole in your life, put down the bottle of Jack Daniels and get yourself a onesie. You can thank me later.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Wear Sunscreen Part Deux
After my last post, it has come to my attention that I was being slightly hypocritical in my rash judgement of the "autopilot" group of my colleagues. Yes, it's true that I judged them for judging me, and at the same time, passed judgement on their actions as well. After a complete overuse of the "j" word, I've decided to add an addendum to my aforementioned statements about the autopilot-ers.
Since I'm such a fan of groups, I'm going to break down my categories of the class of 2009 even further, starting with the ones who know what they want to do in life. Among those people, there are two kinds--the passionate and the passionless. Let's talk in terms of romantic relationships for example. I can't count the number of couples I know who are together simply for the sake of "having a boyfriend." I don't know when having a significant other became the status quo, but take it from me, it is far less common to be a single independent 22-year old these days than to be quoting love songs in Facebook statuses and declaring their love for one another via Twitter. When asked why they stay with this person, they give a plethora of reasons, such as "What if something better never comes along?" or "I need a date to my cousin's bat mitzvah in 6 months." These are the passionless people to which I am referring to when I speak of the "autopilot" group. By basing their life decisions solely on the expectations of others, they limit themselves to becoming a stereotype of American society.
The passionate, on the other hand, may fall underneath the same broad category of knowing what they want to do in life, but differ from the passionless in the sense that they do so with conviction. In relationships, the passionate are confident, self assured, and aware that with or without their beau, they can stand on their own two feet just fine. The passionate take this same attitude into work, friendship, and life in general. The only problem I have encountered with this group is the expectation for me to be just as self assured in my decisions as they are. This mentality has been the rock in my shoe ever since I decided my life path was going to be undecided. What I dislike about this group is the type of people who feel the need to validate their decisions through judging mine. I may not be on autopilot, but I'm just as passionate about life and all there is to experience as those who know exactly where their lives are going.
Since I'm such a fan of groups, I'm going to break down my categories of the class of 2009 even further, starting with the ones who know what they want to do in life. Among those people, there are two kinds--the passionate and the passionless. Let's talk in terms of romantic relationships for example. I can't count the number of couples I know who are together simply for the sake of "having a boyfriend." I don't know when having a significant other became the status quo, but take it from me, it is far less common to be a single independent 22-year old these days than to be quoting love songs in Facebook statuses and declaring their love for one another via Twitter. When asked why they stay with this person, they give a plethora of reasons, such as "What if something better never comes along?" or "I need a date to my cousin's bat mitzvah in 6 months." These are the passionless people to which I am referring to when I speak of the "autopilot" group. By basing their life decisions solely on the expectations of others, they limit themselves to becoming a stereotype of American society.
The passionate, on the other hand, may fall underneath the same broad category of knowing what they want to do in life, but differ from the passionless in the sense that they do so with conviction. In relationships, the passionate are confident, self assured, and aware that with or without their beau, they can stand on their own two feet just fine. The passionate take this same attitude into work, friendship, and life in general. The only problem I have encountered with this group is the expectation for me to be just as self assured in my decisions as they are. This mentality has been the rock in my shoe ever since I decided my life path was going to be undecided. What I dislike about this group is the type of people who feel the need to validate their decisions through judging mine. I may not be on autopilot, but I'm just as passionate about life and all there is to experience as those who know exactly where their lives are going.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Wear Sunscreen
"Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t." --Baz Luhrmann
You know what they say about a woman's intuition? That's bullshit. My intuition is about as trustworthy as a bum selling homemade cookies to children on the streets. One minute I'll think I've chosen the perfect direction for myself. Job, location, everything seems to be falling into place. But then once I take a moment to step back and actually look at this so-called perfect direction, I've come to realize something--I have absolutely no idea what direction my life is going.
For the first 22 years of everyone's life, we are on autopilot. Starting with kindergarten, we are on the fast track to success up until high school graduation, where for some of us, the option to enter the real world is thrust in our faces. For the lucky few of us who reside somewhere in the category of "upper to middle class families," we don't have that choice, it's off to a four year university to take classes on subjects we have nothing but weak to mild interest in, simply to gain a sheet of paper validating the $40,000 a year our parents just shelled out.
So here's where things start to get scary--during what some people would consider to be the culmination of 17 years of education, graduation comes and goes in a blink of an eye, and all of a sudden, we are stamped with the "grown up" label and thrown flat on our asses into the real world.
Now the class of 2009 can be divided into two very simple categories: the ones who know what they want to do and the ones who don't. For the ones who do know, you can turn the autopilot switch back on, because here is the Cliffnotes version of how your life is going to go--you will find a somewhat appealing job that may or may not relate back to your college degree and inevitably, you will end up hating it, but continue to work at it because it's a lot easier to complain and do nothing than to quit and make a positive change for yourself. You will meet your future husband or wife, and find him or her somewhat appealing, but not exactly the sort spouse you had envisioned for yourself. You marry anyway. 2.5 kids, a dog, and a minivan later, and you are living the American dream. Are you happy? No. Are you successful? Not really. But hey, you've got everything you're supposed to have in life and maybe that's enough.
Going back to the categories, now we must discuss the ones who don't know what to do with their lives. Rather than hop on the bandwagon post graduation, they choose to explore their options a bit, perhaps moving back home temporarily in order to do so. For this group, anything and everything is an option, whether it be a teaching job in Istanbul or a permanent vacation in Australia. As a result of their pseudo bohemian actions, they get slammed by family and friends with colorful adjectives such as "lazy," "unmotivated," or "crazy," in some cases. But take a step back and notice for a second that the group labeling are the ones on autopilot and the group that doesn't know what they want still has the freedom to turn that switch off.
Naturally, I consider myself a member of the latter group, and as half cocked as it sounds, there are some days I look at plane flights to far off places and think, "What if I bought a ticket right now, left, and never came back?" And while I may not know where I'll go or what I'll do, I know one thing--I will never be a person who lets other people make those decisions for me. So if that means quitting my job and joining an indigenous tribe in Africa tomorrow, you can call me crazy, but I'll call you boring, because I'll know I've lived my life more fully in one day than you will for the rest of yours.
You know what they say about a woman's intuition? That's bullshit. My intuition is about as trustworthy as a bum selling homemade cookies to children on the streets. One minute I'll think I've chosen the perfect direction for myself. Job, location, everything seems to be falling into place. But then once I take a moment to step back and actually look at this so-called perfect direction, I've come to realize something--I have absolutely no idea what direction my life is going.
For the first 22 years of everyone's life, we are on autopilot. Starting with kindergarten, we are on the fast track to success up until high school graduation, where for some of us, the option to enter the real world is thrust in our faces. For the lucky few of us who reside somewhere in the category of "upper to middle class families," we don't have that choice, it's off to a four year university to take classes on subjects we have nothing but weak to mild interest in, simply to gain a sheet of paper validating the $40,000 a year our parents just shelled out.
So here's where things start to get scary--during what some people would consider to be the culmination of 17 years of education, graduation comes and goes in a blink of an eye, and all of a sudden, we are stamped with the "grown up" label and thrown flat on our asses into the real world.
Now the class of 2009 can be divided into two very simple categories: the ones who know what they want to do and the ones who don't. For the ones who do know, you can turn the autopilot switch back on, because here is the Cliffnotes version of how your life is going to go--you will find a somewhat appealing job that may or may not relate back to your college degree and inevitably, you will end up hating it, but continue to work at it because it's a lot easier to complain and do nothing than to quit and make a positive change for yourself. You will meet your future husband or wife, and find him or her somewhat appealing, but not exactly the sort spouse you had envisioned for yourself. You marry anyway. 2.5 kids, a dog, and a minivan later, and you are living the American dream. Are you happy? No. Are you successful? Not really. But hey, you've got everything you're supposed to have in life and maybe that's enough.
Going back to the categories, now we must discuss the ones who don't know what to do with their lives. Rather than hop on the bandwagon post graduation, they choose to explore their options a bit, perhaps moving back home temporarily in order to do so. For this group, anything and everything is an option, whether it be a teaching job in Istanbul or a permanent vacation in Australia. As a result of their pseudo bohemian actions, they get slammed by family and friends with colorful adjectives such as "lazy," "unmotivated," or "crazy," in some cases. But take a step back and notice for a second that the group labeling are the ones on autopilot and the group that doesn't know what they want still has the freedom to turn that switch off.
Naturally, I consider myself a member of the latter group, and as half cocked as it sounds, there are some days I look at plane flights to far off places and think, "What if I bought a ticket right now, left, and never came back?" And while I may not know where I'll go or what I'll do, I know one thing--I will never be a person who lets other people make those decisions for me. So if that means quitting my job and joining an indigenous tribe in Africa tomorrow, you can call me crazy, but I'll call you boring, because I'll know I've lived my life more fully in one day than you will for the rest of yours.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
10 Reasons Why Thanksgiving is the Best Holiday of Them All
1. It provides a legitimate excuse to sit around and eat carbs all day. As if I need one *cue laugh track*
2. It prefaces Black Friday, also known as day of crazed soccer moms flocking the malls to save 1.99 on Bratz dolls and other skankafied toys for their over indulged children. Also an excellent opportunity to sit back, sip a peppermint latte, and judge random strangers as they flood Del Amo Mall.
3. Zero romantic connotations. Is it too much to ask for a simple holiday sans the lovey dovey shit we get shoved down our throats every other month of the year? November 26th is last call before Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, etc...so grab a beer and a turkey leg and enjoy it while it lasts.
4. Political turmoil. Nothing screams 'holiday' more than sparking a spririted debate between the Liberals and the Conservatives in the family! Lucky for me, I'm the designated black sheep of the Hooper clan and will be sporting my Obama button with pride (or disdain, in my grandmother's opinion).
5. Football. "Nuff said.
6. Crafts. As a preschool teacher, I'm well versed in the area of children's crafts, and while I do see my fair share of complicated art projects on a weekly basis, nothing says 'classic' like a good old fashioned hand turkey.
7. The endlessly entertaining political correctness battle between 'indians' and 'native Americans.' Honestly, I'm not putting a feather in my hair and sporting a paper bag vest covered in arrows and moccassins to be politically correct, I'm doing it to have a good time. And besides, I think the indians (OOO I SAID IT) could care less what we call them as long as they got their land and their culture back (too soon?)
8. The ridiculous assortment of food only consumed on this one day out of the year. Cranberry sauce for example. On what other occassion is it socially acceptable to show up at a fancy dinner party bringing only a can of red goo? Other nonsensical food items include candied yams and sweet potatoes topped with mini marshmellows. Or cornucopias. But that's just a fun word to say.
9. 3 words--Thanksgiving.TV.Specials. Macy's Parade. Charlie Brown. The classic Friends episode. The list goes on...
10...did I mention carbs?
2. It prefaces Black Friday, also known as day of crazed soccer moms flocking the malls to save 1.99 on Bratz dolls and other skankafied toys for their over indulged children. Also an excellent opportunity to sit back, sip a peppermint latte, and judge random strangers as they flood Del Amo Mall.
3. Zero romantic connotations. Is it too much to ask for a simple holiday sans the lovey dovey shit we get shoved down our throats every other month of the year? November 26th is last call before Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, etc...so grab a beer and a turkey leg and enjoy it while it lasts.
4. Political turmoil. Nothing screams 'holiday' more than sparking a spririted debate between the Liberals and the Conservatives in the family! Lucky for me, I'm the designated black sheep of the Hooper clan and will be sporting my Obama button with pride (or disdain, in my grandmother's opinion).
5. Football. "Nuff said.
6. Crafts. As a preschool teacher, I'm well versed in the area of children's crafts, and while I do see my fair share of complicated art projects on a weekly basis, nothing says 'classic' like a good old fashioned hand turkey.
7. The endlessly entertaining political correctness battle between 'indians' and 'native Americans.' Honestly, I'm not putting a feather in my hair and sporting a paper bag vest covered in arrows and moccassins to be politically correct, I'm doing it to have a good time. And besides, I think the indians (OOO I SAID IT) could care less what we call them as long as they got their land and their culture back (too soon?)
8. The ridiculous assortment of food only consumed on this one day out of the year. Cranberry sauce for example. On what other occassion is it socially acceptable to show up at a fancy dinner party bringing only a can of red goo? Other nonsensical food items include candied yams and sweet potatoes topped with mini marshmellows. Or cornucopias. But that's just a fun word to say.
9. 3 words--Thanksgiving.TV.Specials. Macy's Parade. Charlie Brown. The classic Friends episode. The list goes on...
10...did I mention carbs?
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other
I was discussing this with my mother about a week ago, but ever since graduation, I have noticed that the list of people I miss continues to grow with age. Leaving home for college requires the elimination of the safety net you've had since birth, something that was easier said than done for me. Four years later and the tables are turned--suddenly you are forced to leave behind your college family in exchange for the return to your old one. My feelings on this are mixed; while I am happy to "return to the nest" so to speak so I can rekindle past relationships, it saddens me to leave behind my new family, one that has been there and seen me through some of the most formidable years of my life.
So on this particular afternoon, which held no special meaning or significance, I found myself peeking out of the upstairs window to catch a glimpse at the fading sunset and thinking about the people in my life that I miss. There are those from my past whom I miss, whether as a result of distance, choice, or death. And there are those from my present whom I miss, but who can say which group holds more importance? Admittedly there are those I miss more than others, but the important thing to realize is that to the ones who matter, the ones who do care, the number of miles between us is just that, a number. And as for the ones who don't care, well, I believe it was Marilyn Monroe who once said, "Do not worry about people from your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future." I couldn't agree with her more.
So on this particular afternoon, which held no special meaning or significance, I found myself peeking out of the upstairs window to catch a glimpse at the fading sunset and thinking about the people in my life that I miss. There are those from my past whom I miss, whether as a result of distance, choice, or death. And there are those from my present whom I miss, but who can say which group holds more importance? Admittedly there are those I miss more than others, but the important thing to realize is that to the ones who matter, the ones who do care, the number of miles between us is just that, a number. And as for the ones who don't care, well, I believe it was Marilyn Monroe who once said, "Do not worry about people from your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future." I couldn't agree with her more.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Wendy, when you are sleeping in your silly bed you might be flying about with me saying funny things to the stars
When faced with an empty blog and virtually endless amounts of topics to write about, I've decided to stick to my guns and write about what is presently on my mind--Peter Pan. After spending close to an hour attempting to create a witty yet personal title for my blog (embarrassing, I know), my thoughts drifted to my favorite childhood tale. Yes, Peter Pan was and still is a favorite of adults and children alike, for who can deny their inherent love of pirates, fairies, and adventure? But as most of us come to learn with age, life is not the fairy tale we are taught to believe from birth. Still, Peter Pan presents us with a viable alternative to growing up--why not fly away to a land where children never age and your most formidable opponent you face is a bumbling old man with a hook for a hand?
Therein lies the appeal of J.M. Barrie's timeless protagonist. Not only does Peter represent eternal youth, but also the idea that while our childhood may have ended, the adventures we imagined for ourselves don't have to.
So while I find myself faced with the usual assortment of life challenges befitting a recent college graduate, I know that no matter what happens, Neverland is still out there.
Therein lies the appeal of J.M. Barrie's timeless protagonist. Not only does Peter represent eternal youth, but also the idea that while our childhood may have ended, the adventures we imagined for ourselves don't have to.
So while I find myself faced with the usual assortment of life challenges befitting a recent college graduate, I know that no matter what happens, Neverland is still out there.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
