10 Reasons Why Thanksgiving is the Best Holiday of Them All

1. It provides a legitimate excuse to sit around and eat carbs all day. As if I need one *cue laugh track*
2. It prefaces Black Friday, also known as day of crazed soccer moms flocking the malls to save 1.99 on Bratz dolls and other skankafied toys for their over indulged children. Also an excellent opportunity to sit back, sip a peppermint latte, and judge random strangers as they flood Del Amo Mall.
3. Zero romantic connotations. Is it too much to ask for a simple holiday sans the lovey dovey shit we get shoved down our throats every other month of the year? November 26th is last call before Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, etc...so grab a beer and a turkey leg and enjoy it while it lasts.
4. Political turmoil. Nothing screams 'holiday' more than sparking a spririted debate between the Liberals and the Conservatives in the family! Lucky for me, I'm the designated black sheep of the Hooper clan and will be sporting my Obama button with pride (or disdain, in my grandmother's opinion).
5. Football. "Nuff said.
6. Crafts. As a preschool teacher, I'm well versed in the area of children's crafts, and while I do see my fair share of complicated art projects on a weekly basis, nothing says 'classic' like a good old fashioned hand turkey.
7. The endlessly entertaining political correctness battle between 'indians' and 'native Americans.' Honestly, I'm not putting a feather in my hair and sporting a paper bag vest covered in arrows and moccassins to be politically correct, I'm doing it to have a good time. And besides, I think the indians (OOO I SAID IT) could care less what we call them as long as they got their land and their culture back (too soon?)
8. The ridiculous assortment of food only consumed on this one day out of the year. Cranberry sauce for example. On what other occassion is it socially acceptable to show up at a fancy dinner party bringing only a can of red goo? Other nonsensical food items include candied yams and sweet potatoes topped with mini marshmellows. Or cornucopias. But that's just a fun word to say.
9. 3 words--Thanksgiving.TV.Specials. Macy's Parade. Charlie Brown. The classic Friends episode. The list goes on...
10...did I mention carbs?